my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
