just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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