I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Randomize
