forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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