And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
