So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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