Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think my vagina is haunted
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
