i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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