man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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