just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
