i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize