My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
