Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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