One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Michael Bay diarrhea
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
