Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize