"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
