some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
