i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
