Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
