oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
