Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The adults are the big ones right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
