He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
