Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
