we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
