dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
