I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
4 words: hood of his car
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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