fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
