I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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