Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
