You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
