How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
