I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
