I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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