Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
