if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
