Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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