Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
