I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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