New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Say something about gay babies.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
