I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
