My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Randomize
