This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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