i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
