Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
