I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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