My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
