i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
