belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
