Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize