ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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