sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
