i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
