drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize