So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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