absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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