I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
