i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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