Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
