Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
