i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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