Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
