i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
