He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
