it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
