i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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