i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
