Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Four minutes until I can fart!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
