Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
