oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
