I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize