PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
