well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
