you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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