worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
