Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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