One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Soap is not a condiment
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
