bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Panties = found
Randomize
