Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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